A Social Media Infatuation…?
According to Alexa.com, a staggering 17% of global Internet users now visit Facebook.com daily; up almost 25% in the last three months. The average user spends 25 minutes a day, and just last month, Facebook reached 200 million users.
200 million people don’t just sign up for something—and then stick with it for years—because it’s fashionable or cool – Facebook in particular is downright addictive, the newest sensation of the masses.
MySpace and Facebook aren’t necessarily ways for you to meet new people. They’re ways for you to meet people you already know. Even if you’re in regular contact with a person, it’s possible to re-meet them in the land of Facebook. For example, you learn for the first time from their meticulously detailed profile, that they spent a college semester abroad in Mumbai. You learn, from one of their high school friend’s postings, that their high school nickname was “T-Bone.” Turns out you’ve been friends with a total stranger.
Moreover, these networks are ways for you to meet yourself online. Facebook asks you things like “What’s on your mind?” which gets me thinking about what I’m actually doing right now. Typically, I don’t realize what I’m doing or thinking until I’m asked, at which point I’m compelled to think about it, even if the asker was in fact a social networking site. So, in a way, Facebook helps (forces?) me to come to grips with who I am, especially in those moments of caffeinated multi-tasking when I’m simultaneously checking email, reading news online, and visiting a number of my favorite websites.
One casualty I have observed on sites like Facebook and MySpace is the prevalence of self-indulgence and misinformation. It becomes easy for members of these sites to basically invent things about themselves which simply serve to make them appear “cool”, “hip”; by referencing certain bands, books, whatever. It’s Web narcissism, essentially, a phenomenon that happens to be addressed very cleverly by the website Hedonism Chronicles (hedonismchronicles.blogspot.com). It goes deeper; too, analyzing why humans feel compelled to present themselves in an ideal way online. I mean, there’s obviously an evolutionary element here. Naturally we all want to make ourselves appear as attractive as possible. But it seems a different thing completely to go about present an idealized image of yourself on the Internet. You might call it cyber narcissism. As opposed to the regular narcissist, the cyber narcissist seems to be only pretending to adore himself. Their actual bodies aren’t involved in the presentation. In other words, it’s all pretend.
And yet, even if it’s all pretend, I admit it’s kind of nice to hear what other people are pretending to do and think about. But for people who are surrounded by swarms of humanity, social media sites seem to provide a kind of comfort as well, just in the opposite way. Take the recent AT&T circuit board meltdown that occurred in Austin during South By Southwest, due to the ridiculous amount of Twittering and Facebooking going on. In a large group like that, everyone wants to separate themselves from the masses by Twittering themselves into a little bubble of elite knowledge and exclusivity. It’s human nature, which these sites seem to understand pretty well.
I don’t hate Facebook. I’m also a willing participant who actually enjoys spending an hour or two once in a while poking around other people’s (pretend) lives. What’s next? Second Life becomes the real real-world? Only time will tell.
Off to post a new tweet… gotta go!
Posted: May 22, 2009
Filed under: Jays' Letters
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Maybe internet narcissism is a way for people to get it out of there system without dumping it on the “real world”. It could actually be making the world a nicer place! Just a thought. Great article.
Interesting figures and perspective here Kubassek. I am always curious to see what ones own interpretation of themselves would look like in the form of a “BEST OF” Album….
Great Article Brother.
Can’t disagree with a word fortunately I started my CCPro marketing with the deliberate intent of using a Social Media Marketing Strategy. Can I recommend a new book available in Amazon called Groundswell – its a few bucks worth of gold. I can’t remember the authors name but everyone is giving it 5 stars. It basically says any business not involved with Social Media in an organized way will be hit by a Tsunami wave and drown.
I never had a chance to use Facebook when I had a corporate job. That all changed in December 2008. I found this tool initially as a great way to be reacquainted with my family in the Dominican Republic. Now, I can definitely see the potential for expanding my business networking opportunities with the select group of individuals. It also serves as a great comical relief when reading about some of the “tall tales” one comes up with. Have a great weekend everyone.
I never thought of web narcissism. Darn! I could’ve been so much more! Actually, I like being who I am and hope my friends are being as honest as well. I suppose omiting the bad is a form of narcissism.
lol. “the cyber narcissist seems to be only pretending to adore himself” I’m not sure why I find this so funny. Maybe it’s the dichotomy of the narcissist’s outward bravado masking their inward insecurity. Maybe (and more likely), it’s the same reason I found this line from Tropic Thunder funny. “I’m a Dude Playing a Dude Disguised as Another Dude”
When I started to use social media sites I noticed that lots of people there seem or show themselves as nice,optimistic,caring,successful,happy people.For me it is a good thing because I think doing that many people send positive signals to their subconscious mind and it has to work in a positive way.”Fake it until you make it”
would be a good description. Of course, it can not be applied to everybody, but to those who does. I,personally, feel more positive and optimistic energy on those sites then in the off site world.
Interesting Jay. Initially I opened a Facebook account because I though it would be an asset to my business (honestly my 15 yr old daughter did it for me). I really didn’t have the patience to spend time writing about what I was doing since I was so involved with the doing. Then I started getting emails from people wanting to be friends, and comments on photos my daughter uploaded. Now that caught my attention. I’d click on the link and lo and behold I had people contacting me from high school. What fun. I must admit that now I actually will login to Facebook once a week or so and indulge myself in an hour of pleasure. A little nostalgia can be as much much as narcissistic fantasy.
No, I don´t see the point using Facebook as a community for making leeds. Sure great to use Facebook to get new freinds only.
I’m just getting into this 4th dimensional cyber world stuff. It certainly has a narcissistic overtone to it. Sort of like high school mixed with coctail party socials. Pretence and focus on the self is not just for cyber world. I see it in the everyday world as well. It’s all illusion anyway. We are all playing various roles in our lives, this is just another role. Life is a stage….. party on! Good insight Jay.
Hey Jay,
I really enjoyed your post, it goes a lot deeper into the psychology of the attention seeking “Beep” we are than I had realized.
BTW – The cool part is that Internet marketers profit by seeking attention just as Hollywood stars, the only thing is that we are our own paparazzi.
Gotta Roll, off to change my profile pic
Kirk
I’ve found certain people way more likable on their Facebook/MySpace/etc. than they are in person! It’s just another way to “creatively” market yourself, whether it’s for dating, networking or reconnecting with those old friends. I like to think of it as 15 minutes of being famous in your own mind to perfect strangers! I also like that print advertising makes skin look clearer, teeth look brighter, and scars dissapear (ahh, photoshop!). After all, if it didn’t appeal to our vanity, would 200 million people bother? It’s kind of like perfume… you’ll notice JLo isn’t pushing her newest fragrance “Stank pits” or “sweaty balls.” Meanwhile, I’m going to stick with posting pics that make me look 10 pounds lighter and I will only divulge my plastic surgery scars to my closest friends!
Well I must say Facebook has been good to me. As a complete newcomer to the industry about a year ago, the FB platform has allowed me to build a huge following of people and customers whom I think believe I’m telling the truth about myself! LOL!
I mean sure, people always pretend to be something they are not, but in my opinion, in our line of work, you will be found out relatively quickly..so me and FB are cool and are on the up and up!
May be it stems from the fact that whenever we go any were public we are on a stage and people, like it or not are making judgments of you, seeing if you match up to their standards. Many people act and do things seeking the approval of their friends. I guess if you are younger this is even more important.But hey if they are close friends you will know the truth and you can’t fool yourself or can you?
Let me start in this way , since I am in this bussiness still new I can not be very accuret but also I can say that if you give your details and emotion here and their and through the computer for every site you will became like computer with no feeling only plans , stratejey , future expection with less feeling so I beleive that the best way to keep somthing in your emotions and in you minde to remain a human been .
Ok Jay,I have seen your carbon copy pro around for quite a while.
I guess your question would be~>Why haven’t I joined yet?,,,Right?
Well I guess I’m once bitten ,twice shy!
Everybody and there brother has a program , and they promise you the moon.
and once your in,they keep asking for money here and money there.in
laymans terms……Take you to the bank………What makes your program so different???I’m here to tell you first hand ,I’m not looking for a free ride by any means.i know it takes money to make money.
Am thinking of getting connected to my old friends and school mates. Am thinking of getting together with them one time just to fellowship
When everything becomes pretend, and finished, there will be no more truth. And that is where we are heading as a society. I’m glad I’m old and my days are numbered. I have lived in best times this world offered, plus, it’s time to get rich, before real disappears for good
Hello, hope all are you fine, i am new on the desk here, some time its good to keep in touch with new peoples and environment.
Social homeoepathy ,and a bit of e-shadow boxing.Both acquired skills ,and very Acquarian in flavour. Long live the light on the SCREEN.
That’s something that never even occurred to me. I like who I am and who I am becoming (especially since connecting to CCP). Have no reason to pretend. Guess you have to be analytical to be the CEO, huh.(just joking,Jay) Thanks for the insight. Will give that some thought. Any tips on how to tell who is real and who is not?
Pretended or not, it doesn’t matter. I wouldn’t call it narcissism. That happens in real life and in particular in the corporate world as well. The good side if it is that you are forced to paint a picture of yourself. And thinking about ourselves compels to deal with the weaknesses of our ‘now’ and our strength we would like to have. Putting all this in letters is one of the best ways of self-analysis and goal setting, if you are serious of course.
Also for certain, you will only communicate with likeminded people and those who match your ‘wavelength’. Therefore forget all the negativity. There will are all the time pros and cons. The social sites are a great place to find people to follow and to find followers – in other words, people you like and people who can give you something.
The social sites bring definitely the world together.
I wish a good weekend to everybody.
Jorg
Social networking is a parallel apendix to contenporary thoughting !!…
You can understand thought like a fundamental electrochemical desiquilibrium that can be measured by the imbalance of a quantic-geometro matrix,that is both result of a biochemical pulsion and spiritual, intrinsicly….
So,you can imagine good oportunities with central new technologies where simply thinking can revolutionize the world,with or without a physical conection….
Guilherme Nelson P. Machado said….23/05/2009
The world is definitely made of all kinds… It is not hard to believe that there is a lot of make-believe going on in the realm of cyber-social-media, however, I truly believe that most people are honestly enjoying themselves, and I know for sure that all of my friends are genuine in every way. Like with so many other things, “Let the user beware.” I for one am having fun, and I am a brand new social networker, still stumbling around and feeling foolish, not sure of what I am doing! All I know is that I’m learning tons every day!
You said a mouth full. Wonder who’s pretend life i’ll visit today!
The wise understand that because of many inate human behavior patterns (narcissism, personal insecurites, a desire to express one’s self, etc.), social media sites such as “Facebook” are known, excellent governmental and marketing data mining sources. To discuss and debate the psychological reasons as to why one uses these sites is to miss the point as to why your personal information; WILL be and IS currently being abused by these entities,.
A suggestion; have fun, yet be cautious as to what and how much information you divulge on your personal social sites. To believe “everything is alright” or “they wouldn’t do that” would be in the grandest state of denial and an irresponsible assumption… both of which always portray the ability of biting us in the butt!
Take care,
…an observer
Facebook has been around for awhile and I just got into it. I have noticed that the people I know on that site do look a lot more glamourous than they do in real life. I see it as their alter ego – the person they want to be if only they could, and on Facebook or Myspace, they can live out their dream. It could also be the “fake it till you make it” syndrome. Being humble is no longer the fashion. We must appear strong and confident like real leaders. Confidence is a win win situation. That is what I see on Facebook and MySpace. We need more of these qualties in every day life.
Facebook and my space is in my opinion is a way for people to stop the lonliness on the inside by communicating every mood, somehow by posting what they are doing they fell not alone and that they are heard.
I’ve yet to set up a facebook profile, but I do use MySpace and have a journal on my blog about my progress in battling a medical condition that has affected my life for the past 5 years. I feel the most important contribution I can make on any of my published websites is to help others through my experiences of mistakes and successes. I believe being totally open and honest with whatever I’m willing to share. I’ve found that those who do comment or email me find value and appreciate me being real. I’ve also noticed, which you commented, as I write, its a “gut check” for me. Are my thoughts and actions aligned with who I am and am becoming? It’s so easy to to mixup intensions vs. results. So, when possible, I will give objective results to monitor my progress. Lastly, I have also found blogging or journaling a very good therapeutic tool to dump those thoughts down that are not serving me, and share which thoughts I will choose to focus on and bring to fruition. God Bless Jay, hope your doing well. Art
I know it’s hard to believe but I have never been on Facebook. I am constantly on the internet for business and research purposes and very busy at work; I do not have time to maintain a “space”. I just have not had the desire or time to spend researching it; but my children are infatuated with it. I am past the need to create a “cool” image or a desire to show and tell everyone about me. I am not making fun of those who enjoy it; to each his own. I really shouldn’t criticize something I know so little about. I can certainly see the truth in what you are saying based on our society and the priorities in the lives of our youth today. Look at the pictures the kids are sending over the cell phone lines! The internet and wireless communication capabilities are so powerful; yet we are just scartching the surface. It’s scary, yet extremely exciting to think of where it is headed. I pray that it will be for the good of us all.
Well, every good thing sometimes have a bad aspect also. Any medium for making new friends, reuniting with old friends and marketing good information is always a welcome development. But such a medium could become a “public toilet” where the good, the bad and the ugly go to deposit all sorts of lies, truth and falsehood about themselves. It’s terrible! Personally, I have never visited the facebook ‘cos I don’t see the need. Am new to CCPro, still waiting for my Application Kit to arrive before I decide on the next step. Goodluck everybody!
请问这是什么网站啊？我是中国人，呵呵，大家好！
I have spent some time reading what other are saying about this I must say I’m very impress,
Cyber narcissism… nice term Jay! My 2-cents here…
In my 20 years as a business consultant I’ve seen ANY number of industries that go through the ‘pretend’ phase… till the ’shake-out’ leaves the ‘real’ players at the table. On FB it’s pretty much more obvious to 200m people and ANYONE might be the real player. Consistency and earnestness of purpose will define the real ones though. The rest will fade out post ego-gratification.
As for ‘infatuation’ with social media, here’s a bit from my blog (http://DoOnlineBusiness.info)… [quote] the Internet is not just another communication option anymore. It was originally just that… first only for the defense (70’s – arpanet)… then for education (80’s – ernet)… then for businesses (90’s – b2b)… then for customer-oriented business (b2c)… now for anyone (c2c – not just on the computer but on any mobile gizmo) and soon it will be an embedded chip on our shoulder and everyone’s aura will be connected
!
So this medium is like a sixth element and knowing how to use it – and better still, profit from it – is like harnessing water or fire! [end-quote]
Case in point…the Pope just joined Facebook and has acknowledged publicly that “the internet” is a great means of connecting the world and sharing views.
And Twitter is now creating a TV show.
But yes, as you mentioned here there should be a clear objective / reason for using Social Media.
Andrew J. Cass
I know that narcissism puts the human being of living alone for itself. On the one hand, such a solicitude towards oneself is the base of a good health, on the other hand, the self-love appears suspect, fundamentally indifferent and overall egoist. There is no moral aspiration in this love, but a car sufficient contemplation, almost indecent. We blame those which like too much, it is also necessary to appreciate the others because one does not become adult while remaining Narcisse. One can have the feeling of regard of oneself, one can be to trust of the success of his projects, of the realization of certain goals. But one becomes adult under the glance of the others and the company: one grows while judged, being criticized, being shown… and little by little it is under the blow of our own criticisms that we evolve/move. I am a student in DRC, so I am very interest by some ideas. Greetings to all and Jay Kubassek. It’s very ingenious.
Charles Bunu
Bunia/DRC
Their is a clear objective for all social media sites….(Harnest the power)That was only known to the stars!Tell your story network with people that you would have never been able to in the past… have friends all over the world get them to join your cause…. as long as your are truthfull,,,totaly believe in what it is your doing!!!!Never give up on your dreams… Look at what Oscar Mayor done for Marketing…There are leaders and followers,,,,leaders build the box followers live in the box!!!!!
I love what Twiiter is doing…Awesome!!!
Cheers!
Robert Whatley
Yes, I am a Facebook member and Twitter. Yawn. I’d much rather be on MySpace.
I think this is an interesting thing to be part of.
I am a newbe to the internet. I had the pleasure of meeting many wonderful people at the Lake Tahoe convention. I did upgrade to M3 and its a eye opener for me of the vast wealth of people on the net and the opportunity to adventure into a world only few can only dream of. I would encourage everyone with a dream to press on. Life is what you make it and this is a great company to help you in every way to acheive your goals.
Rick Schiffner
Hello Jay
What goes around comes around and I sleep great. Thanks for every thing.
AGF
Darwin Schmidt
I just like to say I do not belong to facebook(spam it). I know a person or person’s who revealed information on this facebook. She is not smart in fact, she is going to be sued by the company her husband is working for. Bardenton, Florida
Twitter is thebest.
Hi,
Using Social Media sites are great for personal and business reasons and can help or hurt you, not necessarily by what you consider valid to post, but what is perceived by the visitor.
Almost kind of like, the guy or gal at the other end of the bar, summing you up on looks or what their friends say, without ever meeting you or talking with you or your friends.
As in real life, if you use truth, you cannot assume what you see or hear is truth, but you can seek it and verify it as best as possible, along the way.
Yep, yep, yep!!
Great place for business and pleasure!
Thanks Jay.
MrsB
If people aren’t honest in the real world, then why would we think they would be honest on their Facebook? Those with integrity would present their “real” self, whether that’s face to face or through social networks, like Facebook. It’s much easier being real in all facets of life and online world, than trying to remember who “I’m trying to be in this forum”.
enjoyed reading the information on social media and the internet best known to connecting with people from all over the globle.
Sorry I have o time to surf but I am ready to be a one of users of carbon dont forget that we dont have many ways to do goodly our business so try a guidance please thanks a lot for a while.
Lukikeba mampuya from DRCONGO
This social media stuff is addictive. Meeting people from all over the globe on facebook is amazing. ON twitter you could link up with the pope or people like Stephen Fry and Aaron parkinson!!
Squidoo – I found interesting. Just did my ist (psycho-cybernetics!!). Life gets more and more interesting.
Jay keep up the articles their great.